You thought you would be learning about health, but it turns out that you’re only hearing about the terrible diet of a struggling comedian…

It feels like it was just yesterday I was a lean, mean, tricep poking out the shirt machine.

Where did all the muscle go?

I used to meal prep, drink protein shakes, and hardly ever ate passed 9pm.

Now, that I’ve found a new passion for stand up comedy, my priorities, finances, and body fat percentage have all changed drastically.

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My schedule involves working Tuesday through Saturday lunch shifts in a restaurant that has delicious tacos and guacamole. Then, I leave work and either hit the gym for an hour and then hit open mics.

Or I go directly from work to open mics. I’ll either scarf down some food at work, or stop at chipotle before the first open mic of the night. They usually all start around seven and end around midnight. My first meal of the day is often sometime after 2:30 pm.

I drive to the first mic which is ally around a 45 minute to an hour drive. Wait about another 30-45 minutes to go on stage. Go on stage, try out some new jokes, work on some older ones, or bomb miserably in front of strangers and local comics.

Then I drive again to the next one, repeat, repeat. After the third mic of the night I’m feeling good about myself, because I only had 2 beers all night. I then head home after spending nearly $15 on gas, $7 on beer, $3 on tip.

Now I’m hungry and oh guess what.. My wife didn’t cook anything, and we don’t have a microwave for some bizarre reason. So, Taco bell, McDonalds, or Subway (in a loves gas station,) it is.

Or I get home and snack on stuff in the pantry. Because why not, I just went 6 hours without eating and burned up so much energy driving, networking, being on stage, and just the mental strain it takes to be a comedian who is progressing.

Eating this terrible food and drinking these beers at the shows has put a bit of a damper on my body. I feel weak and blame myself for me just not being to get home and go straight to bed. I didn’t choose this life, it chose me.

After performing two big shows on the weekend all you want to do is eat a big delicious meal and reflect on the night.

Post submitted by: Zachariah Rippey

Written by Chief Health

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